Preschool and Flying

Well I got her to preschool pretty much on time. I thought there'd be plenty of parking, but we had to park waaay down the road. I carried Seth on my hip and felt like I was dragging her uphill. I am so unorganized and forgetful, I put pressure on myself to say whatever impression people may have of me. "There's Savannah's mother, late with her preschool payment, forgot to label her spare clothes or put them in a bag."

She started coughing again on her way up the hill. She should be getting over it by now. "This has lots of sidewalks." She huffed and puffed and stayed so cheerful. I've always appreciated how, unlike me, negativity doesn't rub off on her. I was stressed and hurried. She was not.

I did not use the morning as wisely as I thought I would. I get out, and get hungry, weak, needing a pick me up. I showed up at the preschool about 40 minutes early. (Due to my nightmares a year ago about taking her to school at 3pm.) Seth slept. I listened to music and read in a book.

I did not have nightmares about being late though. Last night I dreamed about terrorism. It was dark and ominous and a line of speckled fire fell, as if from the debris of an exploded airplane. Another airplane came from another direction. It came in very fast. We (people I stood around with that I seemed to know) all watched it try to land at a high speed. We all waited for the explosion. It never came, but the plane never seemed to stop. The dream went on with lots of talk just like after 9/11 even though we never knew what became of the plane.

We are flying South this winter. I pray it's not only safe, but that it's peaceful for me. Since children, the worry of flying causes more problems than anything else has for me. Savannah befriended some children in Starbucks. The mother invited us to sit with them. She and her husband were pilots. She assured me that crashing should not even be a concern of mine. I admited that I knew it's more dangerous to drive down the road. Given I've never even met a pilot, I believe she was sent to calm me a bit. I don't have revelations, so it's still processing, sinking in.